Speaking up to people that are closest to you can be the hardest thing to do.

• Appeal to principles and values. Relate their remark back to their core values and your shared experiences. What they say may not be an indication of what they think.

"Joe, I've always thought of you as a fair-minded person, so it shocks me when I hear you say something that sounds so racist."

• Set the limits. Letting people know that their behaviour is unacceptable will limit the spread of racist attitudes. You cannot control what other people say but you can set some boundaries. Just make sure that you follow through with them!

"My home is not a place I allow these sorts of remarks to be made. I can't control what you say outside of this space, but here I ask that you respect my wishes."

Hints for speaking up to your children

Children are impressionable and can easily absorb biases and stereotypes from their friends, TV or other family members.

• Focus on empathy. Identify their behaviour with labels or stereotyping and point it out. Guide the conversation towards empathy.

"What made you say that?"
OR
"How do you think it would feel to be called that name?"

• Encourage diversity. Support and encourage your child to learn about different cultures and meet a diverse group of people. This will allow them to form a broader, more diverse view of the world and be more understanding of people's differences.

• Lead by example.

Hints for speaking up to your siblings

Relationships between siblings can be complex. Use your common values, experience and history when speaking up.

• Respect the past. Remind them that racism was not part of your family values when you were growing up (if this is true!)

"I remember when we were children; Mum always ensured that we embraced differences. I am not sure why you have changed, but it has not changed for me."

• Talk about the present. If behaviour that you now consider ill-informed or racist was accepted in the house as you were growing up, explain that your attitudes have changed.

"I know these sorts of remarks were okay when we were growing up, but as an adult I have more respect for others."

• Appeal to your connection.

"We have always been close. Those remarks put distance between us, and I don't want to feel that way."

• Find friends and allies. There may be others whose opinion your sibling values that will share your views on racism.

Hints for speaking up to your parents

Build adult-to-adult dialogue with your parents. You can still speak up to your parent, without disrespecting them.

• Appeal to their values.

"When I was growing up you taught me to treat others the way I wanted to be treated. And I just do not think that term is very nice."

• Discuss actively. Ask questions and clarify your view.

"Why do you feel that way?"
OR
"You know, I see this differently because ..."

• Practice. If you know what sort of behaviour to anticipate, practice your answers beforehand, so that they feel comfortable and work well.

Hints for tackling your personal bias

Individuals grow and develop through confronting their own biases. So don't punish yourself too much if you notice that you say something that uses stereotypes or labels – recognising the issue is the first step to solving it!

• Seek feedback and advice. Your friends or family can help you.

• Commit to learn more. Education, exposure and awareness are key to talking about racism. You can start this process by signing a Personal Pledge or by accessing facts debunking some of the myths about Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Australians.

• Reflect on your journey. Set yourself some goals and timelines and reflect on your achievements!

If you would like more information, read <a href="http://www.case.edu/president/aaction/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf

Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack (PDF) by Peggy McIntosh.

ANTaR would like to thank http://www.tolerance.org/ for the ideas and materials they provide on their website, which has helped us compile the resources on this page.

SPEAK UP AGAINST RACISM: Speaking up online | Speaking up at home | Speaking up at work | Speaking up among friends | Speaking up in public | Speaking up in the media | Speaking up about governments